Living in Tennessee, we have a long way to go to catch up with Mississippi, Alabama, South Carolina, Kentucky, Oklahoma, and Texas, but we’re making giant strides. In breaking news, a Tennessee congressman has spilled the beans about Obama’s conspiracy to disrupt our presidential elections this November. It’s veracity is beyond reproach because it comes from a Tennessee elected official – maybe not Low Tax Looper (yes that’s his real name), but from Kelly Keisling, the birdbrain from Byrdstown.
We have it on the best authority that Obama will fake his own assassination, which will be blamed on white supremacists to enrage the black and Hispanic communities into rioting. We know this to be true, not only because of Keisling’s innate integrity, but also because it has been cross-checked with the ever-unimpeachable Anonymous Source, who is the most reliable informant who “is in the upper echelon of the Department of Homeland Security”, which is “effectively under the control of Barack Hussein Obama.”
I know that you must be at least as surprised as I am, and probably even more so to think that you heard it first from Tennessee. It instills a certain sense of pride in me. Oh yes; my source: Obama Assassination Attempt Conpiracy.