I almost called this A Tale of Two Stories as there are two stories to celebrate. The first ended in 2001 with victory for Allah and his prophet, Muhammad (PBUH), while the second ended just this month with a complete victory for Capitalism, Objectivism, Ayn Rand, and probably Jesus Christ. I hope you’re as excited and as much a sucker for happy endings as I am.
The first story begins with the construction of two heathen idols of Buddha about 140 miles northwest of Kabul in the Bamyan valley. Work on the smaller Buddha (if 35 meters tall is small) continued from 544 to 595, while the larger Buddha (53 meters tall) began in 591 and ended in 644, one century after the beginning of the first one. They were the largest standing Buddhas ever built. They were coated in stucco and painted; the larger was red, undoubtedly symbolizing the Whore of Babylon in all her scarlet glory.
While compete barbarians like Ghengis Kahn left these idols alone, the more astute Muslim leaders were struck by their malevolence, with Turkish writers comparing the larger statue to the giant Salsal. Eventually the great and wise Mughal emperor Arangzeb tried to destroy them with heavy artillery in the late 17th century. The most-holy Persian king Nader Afshar also tried to use cannons to do the job in the 18th century. Finally in the late 19th century the almost-holy Emir of Afghanistan, Abdur Rahman Khan, succeeded in removing the hated face of Salsal, leaving us with the 20th century images seen below (the first is the smaller statue). The wisdom of these fearless leaders can’t be underestimated.
In 1999, that devotion to Islam came into question when Mullah Mohammed Omar decreed that “The government considers the Bamiyan statues as an example of a potential major source of income for Afghanistan from international visitors. The Taliban states that Bamiyan shall not be destroyed but protected.” Fortunately, cooler heads prevailed and in 2001 at the beginning of the 21st century Abdul Wali, the Taliban Minister for the Propagation of Virtue and the Prevention of Vice, ordered the destruction of the Buddhas, which was carried out by his brave followers with dynamite. This stirring account is given below with a joyfully spiritual musical accompaniment.
This was barely completed in time before the invasion of the Godless Americans and their infidel lackeys. So you see, dear children, that Allah provides for those who have faith in his providence.
The second story stirs the bowels even more deeply. It began around 250 BCE with the completion of a 30 meter Mayan Nohmul pyramid on the Yucatán Peninsula in what is now northern Belize (7 miles north of Orange Walk Town). It was one of the earliest examples of Mayan pyramid building and was surprisingly well crafted.
It was on private farm land, although it was protected by the Belizean government, which created a headache for the farm’s owner. The more than 22 centuries had not been kind (as you saw in the photos), and the owner had a terrible eyesore sitting on his land. Enter John Galt and capitalism at its finest. A contractor with his trusty Caterpillar backhoe, like Galt, cut through all the red tape and following a theme of deconstructivism, deconstructed Nohmul and used it to make gravel for a highway, solving two problems at the same time.
As you can see, the contractor was also an artist, reshaping a hideous offensive view into a minimalist piece of art. Now everyone can be happy. At last Objectivism has triumphed with reason, individualism, and capitalism defeating government coercion and red tape. Ayn Rand would have been proud, as I’m sure most libertarians are. This is also a victory for atheism, as that’s the centerpiece of Objectivism (a fact of which fundamentalist Christians and Rand supporters like Paul Ryan and Rand Paul are blissfully unaware).
In spite of a clear atheist victory, good Christians also have reason to celebrate, because the Mayans clearly built this over 2 centuries before the birth of Christ as an affront and blasphemy aimed at Christ and future Christians. The Catholic priests who came with the Spanish conquerors certainly knew this and took appropriate measures with the indigenous populace.
Now everyone can be happy and smug with self-satisfaction. Wait! Did I hear a protest?