I don’t know what I’d do if I were a pastor. If I had to wait until inspiration struck, I’d have a sermon ready about as often as I post to this blog. Several things converged recently to lay this in my lap.
In a recent video, some guy was talking about attending Sunday school at a synagogue with the rabbi in attendance. I immediately wondered when Liberal Judaism became so liberal.
If you were as educated as I was when I was a kid, you’d know that the Sabbath is Sunday and that the Jews were just another Christian sect. Sigh. Why couldn’t I have just remained in blissful ignorance so I could display it on a regular basis in my newspaper’s letters to the editor.
This is the 57th anniversary of the date that a thermonuclear bomb “device” was dropped on the U.S. Surprisingly, some people are unaware that it ever happened, just as some don’t know that one of our H-bombs has killed a Japanese citizen.
I’ve been back to my beloved PC for about a week after being gone for nearly a month. We’ve been visiting family in the East and taking historical tours.
After visiting everyone in east Tennessee, we continued to the Colonial Williamsburg area in eastern Virginia to see my youngest brother. If you cross the Coleman Bridge between Yorktown and Gloucester County, he’s likely to be the one in the control booth above the bridge, so be sure to wave as you go by.
This nearly had the title “A Tale of Two Languages“. A couple weeks ago I was watching a rerun on the Smithsonian channel about the Pirahã of Brazil and Daniel Everett. It immediately reminded me of the cultures of El Beni in Bolivia, and particularly, the Sirionó. The similarities and differences are striking.
There’s something you may not know about me. At one time I worked with the Summer Institute of Linguistics (now known as SIL International) and its sister organization, the Wycliffe Bible Translators (now called the Wycliffe Global Alliance), both founded by William Townsend. For those unfamiliar with Bible history, Wycliffe was the first to translate the Bible (Vulgate version) into Middle English in 1382, and he was a constant thorn in the side of the Holy See. The purpose of the organizations is to study and document lesser-known languages and to translate the Bible (especially the New Testament and Gospels) into the local languages for the edification and enlightenment of the natives. Yes, I was one of them, but my excuse was to aid in studying and recording languages before they became extinct and because it was something I truly enjoyed.
You may already be aware Queen Elizabeth out of the goodness of her heart issued a “mercy pardon” for Alan Turing almost 60 years after he committed suicide when the British courts had him neutered for the heinous crime of being a grossly indecent homosexual. (Isn’t homosexuality always grossly indecent in Britain?) At least she didn’t wait as long as the Vatican did to pardon Galileo for the crime of being right while the pope thought he was being ridiculed. Had she issued the pardon within two years after ascending the throne the suicide could have been prevented, but gays didn’t need mercy in those good old days.
To put this into perspective, Turing led a pretty useless life. He not only broke Germany’s enigma code, shortening WW II considerably, he helped design the machines that automated the code-breaking process when no key was available. He was a mathematician, logician, and is best known for modeling a general-purpose computer which still bears his name. He formalized the concepts of algorithms, computability, Turing reduction, Turing completeness, and Turing degree as well as being the father of computer science and artificial intelligence. He worked in two different laboratories developing early variations on the first stored-program computers. He wrote a paper on what later became known as the Belousov–Zhabotinsky reactions, which were only discovered 8 years after his death.
There is little question that he lived a wasted life, and the queen, her empire, and the world could just as well done without him. Now the U.S. can start working on pardons for the Salem witches. If we get through that in the next century, we can retroactively save their lives. I can only thank God that the queen found the mercy in her heart, but only after the House of Lords had already passed a bill for statutory pardon on Oct. 30 of this year.
Sorry about taking so long in getting back. I’ve been away from my PC more than I’ve been on it for the last few months, but I can’t let this inspiration slip away. Certainly the greatest discovery of the 20th century was the observation by Prosper-René Blondlot of N-rays in 1903. It’s somewhat like seeing or hearing God for your first time and the only people who believe you are other Christians. That was the fate of Blondlot – only other French physicists and spiritualists were able to detect N-rays, while physicits of other nationalities were either envious or had insufficient IQs and claimed to be unable to see the obvious.
Until very recently, I was convinced that the greatest invention of the 20th century (even greater than Kirlian photography in 1939) was the revelation in 1911 of Kilner Goggles. Since I am in agreement with such great minds as Paul Harvey (who listed Kilner Goggles as one of the 10 greatest inventions of the 20th century, along with television and penicilin), I was sure that I couldn’t be wrong on this one. The lenses in the goggles were Kilner Screens which allowed direct viewing of the human aura from which one can diagnose diseases without any other confusing tests being necessary. The Nobel prize committee must have been napping when he made this startling announcement.
Last month I was alerted by PZ Myers (Don’t waste your time with this survey) that the MRA (Men’s Rights Activists) have determined that there is only one objective measure for determining a woman’s worth. I would have guessed the acronym would be OOOM for only-one-objective-measure, but no, they had to confuse things. They call it SMV for Sexual Market Value, which immediately alerts you that it must be objective as well as measuring the only meaningful way of evaluating a woman’s worth. Those MRA folks sure are clever. Because we know that love should have nothing to do with sex, this method of calculating Sexual Market Value is how to find who you should impress when you exude your sexual charms.
For some reason PZ Myers doesn’t understand what a boon this is for manly men, and he dares criticize it repeatedly through several posts for being unscientific. I was devastated until I found what I now deem to be the greatest invention of the 20th century. It was created by none other than Max Factor, Sr., probably the world’s most renowned cosmetologist – probably better than Mary Kay (he’s male, after all). His invention was the Beauty Calibrator from 1934, and it has restored my faith in the scientific value of the SMV and the MRA movement. It’s something that every man should have and take with him when he goes bar-hopping. Every woman will want to try it on for the sake of science. If you want one (and there is only one), the last time it went on auction in 2009, it didn’t even make it to the $10,000 mark, so you may be in luck if you want to buy it.
I hope my readers agree with me about the value of this invention.
Of course this is as much a lie as Ray Comfort’s lies, omissions, distortions, and incomplete excerpted interviews in his latest movie Evolution vs. God: Shaking the Foundations of Faith, which garnered a 2.5 rating out of 10 in the International Movie Database (IMDB), placing among the worst movies of all time.
In case you missed it in your home schooling, Ray Comfort is a fundamentalist evangelist who founded The Way of the Master ministry along with child actor Kirk Cameron and radio host Todd Friel. He also started Living Waters Publications, should you need to come to Christ and learn the Truth about evolution.
With all this claim to fame, you’d think that Comfort might be satisfied, but he has done something really frightening. He showed us the atheist’s nightmare: a banana. It’s left me sleepless at nights and makes me panic every time I think about it.
In the glory of war, we sometimes forget the price. I want to thank to thank Daz for his remarks on one of these songs.
Maybe this isn’t quite as spectacular an example of progress as my article 2 posts ago, but Sam’s Club and Oxford Mayor Leon Smith have determined after exhaustive business research that a 1500 year old Indigenous American ceremonial mound is a ‘natural’ formation because it isn’t on the National Register of Historic Places, which they researched so well, they called it the “Natural Register”. It was the largest stone mound of its kind in Alabama. Smith knows for fact that it was only used for smoke signals (he is, after all, at least as accurate a historian as David Barton), and that the United South and Eastern Tribes are just blowing smoke signals up his ass to claim otherwise. Really, who’s the business expert here?
I almost called this A Tale of Two Stories as there are two stories to celebrate. The first ended in 2001 with victory for Allah and his prophet, Muhammad (PBUH), while the second ended just this month with a complete victory for Capitalism, Objectivism, Ayn Rand, and probably Jesus Christ. I hope you’re as excited and as much a sucker for happy endings as I am.