Category Archives: Other People’s Sites

For People Who Don’t Understand ISIS

Karl Sharro gave the best explanation for ISIS I’ve ever seen, and he did it in a single sentence.  I copied it below.

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Mixed Metaphors

I don’t know what I’d do if I were a pastor.  If I had to wait until inspiration struck, I’d have a sermon ready about as often as I post to this blog.  Several things converged recently to lay this in my lap.

In a recent video, some guy was talking about attending Sunday school at a synagogue with the rabbi in attendance.  I immediately wondered when Liberal Judaism became so liberal.

If you were as educated as I was when I was a kid, you’d know that the Sabbath is Sunday and that the Jews were just another Christian sect.  Sigh.  Why couldn’t I have just remained in blissful ignorance so I could display it on a regular basis in my newspaper’s letters to the editor.

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New App for Women in New York or Other Big Cities

Did you ever get a cat call you couldn’t interpret? The app Hylp was designed just for such situations.

It Makes Me Proud to be an Atheist

Ken Ham, founder of Answers in Genesis and the Creation Museum in Petersburg, KY, has announced that his latest venture, Ark Encounter, is facing dire financial difficulties. With quick visit to the Creation Museum website, the first words you run into are “Prepare to Believe”. If you don’t mind swallowing a little bullshit, you too can believe.

The Ark Encounter was to be a replica of Noah’s ark, complete with dinosaurs, unicorns, and fire-breathing dragons, just as the Bible tells us. Actually, I had missed those 3 kinds of animals in Genesis, but that’s what makes Ken the expert on Genesis and the genius that he is.

Between now and Feb. 6, Ken has to sell $29,000,000 in unrated junk bonds, so if you have some spare change, won’t you send him a few million dollars? The state of Kentucky was so enthusiastic about this great idea, that during the recession, they plunked down several million dollars of the taxpayer’s own money for infrastructure and tax breaks.

Ken blames this mess on atheists (way to go, atheists) and the secular media. Specifically, “the trouble with Ark Encounter’s financing is due to the treachery of atheists and godless bloggers, who have sabotaged the giant dinosaur boat…”. Thanks for finally acknowledging me, Ken. But he goes further. He has been wrestling “against the rulers of the darkness of this age, against spiritual hosts of wickedness in the heavenly places.” I do admit to being a ruler of the darkness of this age, but thanks for thinking that I am a spiritual host of wickedness and that I rule from heavenly places. I’ve tried to project that image for a long time now.

To read more, check out Ark Encounter Close to Failure.

God, Sitzpinkel, and the U.N.

I had written nearly a complete post on this subject when my computer crashed last fall, and I lost the work on all my posts in progress. There is little doubt that God was chastising me for being an atheist, and He fully expected His flock to fill the void. It didn’t come to pass, so here I go again on this important subject.

There is no doubt of God’s opinion about sitzpinkel – He despises it. Most Bible apologists simply don’t understand how God could have overlooked this offense to His holy creation in His 613 Laws, but the explanation is really pretty easy. He obviously originally had 614 Laws, and Moses just couldn’t understand what such a strange law was doing in the collection because in Biblical times, no one violated it, so he neglected to include it with the other 613. (On the other hand, the tenth commandment [Exodus 34:26Thou shalt not seethe a kid in his mother’s milk.] was necessary, because so many Biblical Jews were eating cheeseburgers. For those not familiar with God’s wishes, read Meat and Milk and Cheese and Whey.)

I can hear you now protesting that you don’t know what sitzpinkel is, when in fact, you know damned well but you won’t admit it even in your darkest nightmares. For those who are hopelessly clueless, watch the following exhortation.

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Raven about NSA and Privacy

I stole this from Digital Cuttlefish since he says it so much better than I could.

 Once upon a conversation, I received a revelation—
Just a tiny aberration in the phone line could be heard
It was near too faint for hearing, all too quickly disappearing,
And it surely had me fearing they had listened to my word
But of course, there is no reason to be snooping for my word
Such a notion is absurd!

With the conversation ending, and my paranoia pending—
Was some listening ear attending? Had a wiretap occurred?
My suspicions were implying what I’d rather be denying;
That the government was spying, and the lines had all been blurred
There had formerly been limits, but those lines have all been blurred—
Ah, but surely that’s absurd!

Could my phone call now be quoted? My associations noted?
Are there data banks devoted, at the mercy of some nerd?
All the data they can hack up, with more copies just for backup
In some cave where servers stack up with the info there interred?
They will long outlast my body, which will rot when I’m interred
This is far beyond absurd!

In a time that seems chaotic, is my worrying neurotic?
Maybe spying’s patriotic—it’s what 9/11 spurred.
Sure, the citizens are frightened, but security is heightened
With the leaky borders tightened and some terrorists deterred
Why, the means are surely justified if terror is deterred
Or they’re not… cos it’s absurd.

Allie Brosch is Back!!!

I last wrote about Allie nearly a year ago in Where Are They Now. She had stopped writing completely after her post from October 2011, Adventures in Depression, and I think we all had little hope of seeing her brand of humor again. I’m really late in welcoming her back, but she has given us a brilliant update that I hope everyone who reads this post will visit – Depression Part Two. As you can see, her comments started almost immediately and were cut off when they reached 5000. I’m not the only one overjoyed to see her back.  It has been a long battle for her, and I don’t know when we’ll hear from her again, but at least we have this.

 

Songs for Memorial Day

In the glory of war, we sometimes forget the price. I want to thank to thank Daz for his remarks on one of these songs.

Gun Legislation – Part 1

I started this over a month ago for people who may not have given much thought to gun legislation. I expect it to be a 4-part series to give you a little more insight into the matter than most of the politicians who are cobbling together laws to protect us from guns (and those who would oppose any change). You don’t have to own a gun to be informed about guns. After listening to legislators and journalists, many of whom claim to own or use a gun, I’m really appalled. Especially cringe-worthy is the expert on gun violence who put together the new proposed gun legislation (which is essentially a rehash of the old Brady bill).

Warning: this article is rather long and is about controlling gun violence as opposed to controlling gun access – a difference that our lawmakers don’t seem to appreciate. (Gun access is a separate issue and requires more competence on the part of policy makers than violence prevention.) I hope it is useful if you’re interested in gun violence.

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Thank You God – Tim Minchin

Tim came out with a new song today. In it, he recognizes his mistaken lack of belief in a God when a fan describes for him a genuine miracle. Tim immediately had to swallow his pride, and he rejoiced in the Truth by writing a hymn of contagious joy praising God. Now I, too, have realized the error of my ways and I feel compelled to share Tim’s witnessing with you. Consider this my testimonial too.

Secret Feminazi Shrink Ray

I found out something recently that I’ve long suspected – feminazis have been focusing their shrink ray on Rush Limbaugh’s penis for the last 50 years. Being the virile guy he is, they’ve only managed to reduce it 10%. It took scientists in Italy to discover it, and they tried to divert attention from the feminazis, but Rush has set them straight. Watch the enclosed video where Rush corrects them.

The Cause of Limbaugh’s Penis Shrinkage

There is some question whether sluts are in on this conspiracy since Limbaugh revealed that people who use birth control pills are sluts. As he explained it, after every time they have sex, they pop another birth control pill, and since law students have sex so frequently, the cost of birth control pills wrecks their budgets. (By the way, Limbaugh sincerely apologized for calling Sandra Fluke a slut and immediately explained again why she was a slut.)

Rush Limbaugh and Sluts

And why should we be so wary of women who use birth control pills? They kill babies and cause them to become embedded in their wombs. Hundreds and thousands of tiny dead babies get embedded in the wombs of birth control users! I’m not sure that conception is even necessary, since it is a known fact that birth control pills turn eggs into tiny babies before killing them.

Embedding Tiny Dead Babies in your Womb

I hope that you feel much more informed now. This message has been brought to you by the Republican party. Remember to vote Republican.

About Eating Babies

Great news! I just found out that atheists are no longer required to eat babies. American Atheists’ David Silverman didn’t explain whether it’s now just optional or whether it’s completely banned, but here’s David Silverman’s interview with Lucifer (a.k.a. Lucy) and Mr. Deity.

The Importance of Home Schooling

I have put off warning my readers for too long about government schools that are teaching our impressionable children socialism and communism. I know this for fact because I faithfully watch Fox News and listen to Fox Radio. We must put a stop to this left-leaning government agenda.

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Rambling on my Way Out

My return has taken much longer than I expected since I announced my sabbatical. Since then, one of my processors crashed, and I lost all of my blog backups and a whole series of drafts. It was a major loss, since I had been working on some posts that took several months to put together. One was an atheist hymnal that included well over 100 entries – everything from old favorites like Plastic Jesus to hard rock anthems. A couple were close to being ready to publish, including Sitzpinkel and God’s opinion, little-known facts about the Hamilton-Burr duel, and a piece about “clean” coal and “safe” nuclear power.

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Where are They Now?

There are several bloggers and YouTube producers who have made a big impact on me. Several just disappeared suddenly after building a large audience, and I’m curious if anyone knows what happened. The first was Stephanie, better known as LovingDoubt. She made YouTube videos that could suck the viewers in and make them want to know more about how she first became a Pentecostal fundamentalist and then turned to the dark side and was seduced by powers of atheism. (I’m not portraying what she said properly, so don’t let your opinions be influenced by me.) Like most others who achieved success in the on-line world, she understood the magic of how to tell a story, and she had an incredible sense of humor.

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When You Can’t Find a Unicorn

As everyone knows, just as with God (Mark 16:18), unicorn horns will render poisons harmless. But what do you do if you can’t find a unicorn or God is busy? Grab an opossum (but watch out for the teeth). If you’ve ever met an opossum in the wild, you already know they can’t be killed without resorting to extraordinary means.

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Koran Kountry

As you may remember, Kentucky’s Gov. Beshear’s donation of state money to Ken Ham’s Ark Encounter, which proposes to build a full-size replica of Noah’s Ark, complete with dinosaurs and unicorns as described in the bible. He has spent $7,000,000 on state-provided infrastructure for the ark, and will spend another $43.000.000 on rebates to Uncle Ken.

Hamza Tzortzis is one of my favorite people, whom I’ve mentioned elsewhere. He runs a university to teach students the Truth about science and how the Prophet has already provided them with most of what they need to know. He taught me all about embryology: embryology in the Qur’an. and he trained me in how to make my Da’wah presentation to atheists: how to make dawah to atheists.
However, he’s not the only Hamza to peddle influence. Kenwal Hamza makes better business deals with Gov. Beshear than Ken Ham: sacred playgrounds.

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What Would Make You Feel all Tingly Inside?

Is it the thought of someone trying in vain to pry the gun from your cold dead fingers? Would it be having “In God We Trust” on top of the slide just behind the front sight to guarantee you can’t miss? Would it be having a Mary Kay or Barbie pink pistol? How about a plastic gun where even the rod in the recoil spring assembly is plastic? …And the Bill of Rights carefully lettered on the sides of your gun with the words “freedom” and “liberty” engraved on the back of the gun just above the butt? Are you just about to have an orgasm? These no longer need to be just fantasies!

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Another Clever Christian Idea

And how do we prevent little Johnny from turning queer? We learn that from goodly pastor Sean Harris at Godly Pastor Harris. And here’s his video.

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And the saga continues…

An Old Photo Making the Rounds

This photo from 2010 is making the rounds again. No one seems to know the source. It’s from Copper Pointe Church in Albuquerque, NM: Copper Pointe Church. They sponsor a group called Wake, which has its own Facebook page (Wake: Facebook) and a blog (Wake: Blog). It has satellite branches in Los Alamos and Portales. They describe themselves this way: “Wake is a progressive Christian college group that redefines how church is done”. Indeed, they are. Many sites that carry the photo don’t have a clue about its source and speculate that it is Photoshopped. Now that I’ve set the record straight, here’s the photo.

How Marduk Inspired Area 51 and the Assassination of Princess Di

As you probably remember, Marduk divided the Anunnaki into the 300 who are in heaven and the 300 on earth. It is the Anunnaki who are responsible for everything weird that has occurred since then, and if we don’t act soon, they will destroy the earth on 12/21/2012. It is urgent that you understand the history of this shadowy group.

As you can see, the pope is in on this, so only atheists can be trusted with this information. We can’t let the Catholics know we’re onto them.

This Sign Says it All

Here’s an appropriate sign that I stole from Pharyngula.

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Silence of the Gods

I used to wonder why, if there is a God, does He allow terrible things to happen and then brag that His People did it. Why would a loving God order genocide and murder of homosexuals, adulterers, and non-virgin girls? That very question is answered in this episode of Mr. Deity at about the 1:10 minute mark in the video. God’s preferred means of communication is silence, so that we are dependent on His prophets (like Moses, Joshua, Paul, and Joseph Smith) to know what He wants and expects of us. Many people already knew about God’s method of direct communication with us, but they didn’t realize the consequences. If I had only known this years ago, I could feel the comfort of being a faithful member of His flock and never having to think for myself. If you should ever feel the urge to question obvious contradictions or injustices, remember: Questions are bad, and God is watching you without letting you know that you are under His scrutiny. Don’t think wrong thoughts.
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Nature’s Horrible Perversion

I stole this book from the Unreasonable Faith blog. Although I’ve known about the quaint habits of whiptail lizards since high school, it didn’t occur to me that something needs to be done about it until I read this

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Student Forced to Confront Perverts at Ocuppy Wall Street

This is the sad story of NYU student Sara Ackerman’s being forced to interview the criminals, drug addicts, mentally ill, and general scum of the earth at Occupy Wall Street: Horror story of woman forced to interview occupants of Occupy Wall Street. It’s not pretty, so you may want to stop here. This is the story about the story.

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Prophecy of St. Nilus the Elder of Sinai

I became concerned when I read the End Time blog, and it quoted the prophecy of St. Nilus the Elder of Sinai, which is accurately dated at 430 A.D. in the fourth century.

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Where is Education in Kentucky Headed?

I think I finally see why creationism has to be True. Because a guy was shot for refusing to tear down the American flag, Creation inevitably follows. A letter from a school superintendent in the Kentucky school system (Ricky Line) was striving for the betterment of his students by teaching Creation Science in his schools and the corresponding response from Kentucky Commissioner of Education were published in The Evolving Scientist, written by “some guys and a girl”. The original article is at http://www.evolvingscientist.net/2011/12/someone-got-ahold-of-lines-full-letter.html.

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Gee. Let’s Kill Some More Kids.

Most of us are familiar with the anti-vaxxers, especially Jenny McCarthy and her tag-along ex-boyfriend, Jim Carrey. The movement to infect each other’s kids and to share disease-carrying lollipops is also well-known.

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Allah Wants You to Have an Eternal Boner

I used to ponder what made Islam so much better than Christianity. While Christians are wondering “What would Jesus do?”, Muslims are pursuing the eternal boner, if we can believe the wonderful stories of Allah (and I see no reason to doubt them). In heaven, we can look forward to endlessly singing God’s praises to him, but in Paradise, Allah has a better plan.

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Women (and Girls) Are Just Asking for It

Again, I’ve been on sabbatical far too long. I’m back now and wasting no time.  This insightful blog comes to us from The Official Website of Michael Crook. (I haven’t found his unofficial site yet, but it must have some real blockbusters.) Lest you think that this was just one of his off-moments where he was drunk out of his gourd or worse, he tells us “When this Mormon writer indites, the thinking has been done!” Converting his Java Script took some time, but I didn’t want to be accused of quoting him out of context.

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Who Says Cats in Heat Aren’t Musical?

I’ve been catching up on my e-mail and blogs since I’ve been gone, and I noticed that PZ Myers said some rather unflattering things about the way cats sing when in heat (Cats in Heat). I had to take exception to his characterization of cats. At least they don’t hump your leg. I found some good recordings of cats in heat – first in Korean, then in German. The language of love knows no boundaries.

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A Poem about the Christian Thing to Do

Just within the last couple of months, I was reading an article about the two best-known images world-wide that anyone would recognize. Immediately, I thought of The Great Wall of China and maybe the Eiffel Tower. After rethinking for a minute, I was thinking that one of the things could be a little off-beat, or the guy wouldn’t have been writing the article… so maybe the Great Pyramid of Cheops and Machu Pichu.

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The Homosexual Conspiracy and Black Atheism

It’s happened again. The monolithic atheist movement has been shattered by European customs. The Black Atheists of Atlanta have a show where they keep the public informed on black atheist issues. I’ve excerpted a little bit of their profoundly well contemplated ideas that appear to be refined from the upper echelons of Redneck Central.

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Simplifying Scientific Research

Saori Haigo suggests in her new blog Science For Everyone!, that experiments aimed at answering crucial questions could go a long way toward an evidence-based education. She suggests 3 experiments that would demonstrate with a high degree of confidence that a particular gene is expressed in the spinal chord’s neural cells (3 Basic Types of Experiments). Perhaps this is true, but there is a much simpler, less time-consuming way.

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Pharyngula – Why Are You an Atheist?

About a month ago, I was reading an article in Pharyngula entitled “Why are you an atheist?“.  I was convinced that PZ Meyers must have read my freshly minted post (before I moved to WordPress) entitled FAQs, but no such luck.  The let-down came when I realized that he hadn’t mentioned type 4 atheism.

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Better than any Superbowl Ad

I have to put in a plug for one of my favorite web sites.  If you haven’t tried it out, it’s Mr. Deity on Youtube.  In the first link, he has a particularly good ad to ask for your support at the end of the show.

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